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How many times in life does the craziness take over and it gets to a point where you are literally overwhelmed and you just need a

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That's the geekiest -most relevant- way I could put into words the things we must do sometimes to get us back going again the way we're supposed to.

It's January 3rd, and I have made several resolutions in my life that I think I'm going to take into serious consideration -one, being more writing-

Others are personal to me, and others are the generic, "everyones goal to improve."

Many times in life these moments of change, these times of realization and points where you can just say. "I'm starting over!" Fall face first due to the number one reasoning, superficial motivation.

New years and the goals people associate with new years may just be a great way for Slim Fast to pick up sales. However, I'd like to think that this new year is something different to me altogether.

To be quite frank about it all, last year was dreadful. I had so much pain last year about so many things, it was hard for me to function. I can't say last year was a total flop, however, I did meet my long-lost-sister, Angie Ruth, and I got to say that was the best thing that happened last year.

So, this year is a severe reboot, it's a time when I take a intimate introspective look inside everything I am and weed out the bad habits, exploit the good ones, and move on day-by-day, trying to live as best as I can.

I feel like last year, God was behind me as I was sitting in a wheel chair and that's how we got by everyday, he was behind me, I didn't see him, I knew he held me together, but outside of that, their was more or less no effort on my part. My walk was broken.

2011 is not going to be like that. I'm going to ensure that my walk with God is something I can achieve on my own two legs, reestablish a relationship with the One True Father.

I'm here 2011.

Life lessons learned | Tides will be turned.

I'm forcing every thought into word. I've had an insane writers block. I can't believe how nostalgic one can be when they see their talents flushed away in a cascade of negligence to the One that blessed their talents to them.

Yes. I believe there is a direct connection between FAITH and how it can effect you LIFE.

Oh, and these connections come in many facets. I dare explain to you just one today.

For the people that have known me prior to the fall of 2007. They literally knew a totally different soul.

For the people that met me after the fall of 2007 they met a superficial tragedy desperate for attention, acceptance, & popularity.
Lastly, for those that has been in my life through both, most of them realize there some changes that were made, primarily in my faith. - I didn't attend a dedicated church.- I didn't desire to lead others in that capacity.- I didn't see a need to restrain my sinful nature.- I altogether just stopped praying.

These changes obviously had their good and bad, right?Of course, depending on your perspective. I could drink without feeling guilty.I had more time on Sundays, Wednesday nights, & didn't dedicate time for events or trips.I got to "experience" what life had to offer. I got to "experience" what adults do.

I also lost friends. I also gained regrets. I also feel ashamed. I also disappointed my family. I also became something, someone, I was not.

I spent years building up a reputation of relentless faith with a ferver and passion many could not match. I spent years building up others and getting them excited about the things God offers them everyday then it coming full circle when we pass away.
To literally be thrown out the door in months. I can't tell you how many times I heard this
"Daniel, you drink!?!?"

I was always referred to Daniel. Because, after 2007, I became just Dan.
So, with all that said, what happened to my writing? I more or less only wrote about Faith, Life, and Love.

Well, that's hard to do whenever you've abandoned your faith, ashamed of your life, and the only love there is was leaving the next morning.

Everyone has their ups & their downs. This was different. This makes me think "The bigger they are the harder they fall." I'm in no way being pompous about my faith, I'm being very real and honest that my faith was big. It was my everything. It was my social network, it was my family positon, it was my, "what are we doing on Friday night?"
I was very ambitious for Jesus. Unfortunately, I became less ambitious for Jesus and more ambitious for myself. Please, let me warn you. That's a very bad idea.Your flaws will come through in ways you never thought possible, your weaknesses will overpower you character. I've had a newfound anger complex. I seem to get so upset about the smallest and ridiculous things due to a overzealous perspective misunderstanding. These little misunderstandings have broken bridges with very good people in my life. That's also because I have to couple my anger with arrogance that's been amplified. Now, not only am I misunderstanding... I feel that I'm absolutely right in my understanding and I have no humility to back down from my postion. It's a vicious circle that could end with:

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." —Psalm 37:8
That seems simple enough? It really is when you've talked to Jesus that day about holding back your anger, and recognizing it as an issue that you need guidance and assistance with.

There is good news to this. I feel like I'm on a path back to being a man of God. I miss my relationship and my faith. I miss the calls saying we're praying for you, I miss the aspect of know you had so many people that truly cared for you.

I just miss my Jesus.